Sassoon’s bravery was inspiring to the extent that soldiers of his company said that they felt confident only when they were accompanied by him. He often went out on night-raids and bombing patrols and demonstrated ruthless efficiency as a company commander.

The second kind of heroism that Siegrfried showed was his attitude towards the War. Having spent many years in fighting along the front and lost some close friends Siegfried, at the end of a spell of convalescent leave, Sassoon declined to return to duty. Instead he sent this letter to his commanding officer…

I am making this statement as an act of wilful defiance of military authority because I believe that the war is being deliberately prolonged by those who have the power to end it. I am a soldier, convinced that I am acting on behalf of soldiers. I believe that the war upon which I entered as a war of defence and liberation has now become a war of aggression and conquest. I believe that the purposes for which I and my fellow soldiers entered upon this war should have been so clearly stated as to have made it impossible to change them and that had this been done the objects which actuated us would now be attainable by negotiation.

I have seen and endured the sufferings of the troops and I can no longer be a party to prolonging these sufferings for ends which I believe to be evil and unjust. I am not protesting against the conduct of the war, but against the political errors and insincerities for which the fighting men are being sacrificed.

On behalf of those who are suffering now, I make this protest against the deception which is being practised upon them; also I believe it may help to destroy the callous complacency with which the majority of those at home regard the continuance of agonies which they do not share and which they have not enough imagination to realise. (source: Finished with the War)

Siegfried Sassoon

It’s probably true that this Hero was speaking about every war that has ever been fought. Certainly we can see the shadows that his words cast upon wars that are being fought today. Consider though the reaction to the above letter which had the opportunity to be read out in Parliament. Some saw statements such as “I am making this statement as an act of wilful defiance of military authority” as treason whereas others complained that such statements as “I believe that the war upon which I entered as a war of defence and liberation has now become a war of aggression and conquest” as condemnation of the War governments motives. Which in my honest opinion, it was.

However one definitely has to consider that this man was courageous to risk treason (punished by death) to say these words which one can feel came from his poets heart. What did Siegfried do? He took personal responsibility for his actions. He became response-able. Such responsibility is empowering, it creates a sense of freedom that profoundly expresses our spirit.

It is the heroes heart such as demonstrated by Seigfried that I call upon. To become response-able is to breathe life into our spirit. Indeed, it awakens that spirit that is inherent in all of us.

To learn more about how to create a life that is enlightened, visit Active Enlightenment.

Thanks for your time,

Kal Malik

post script:

A Mystic As Soldier

Signs

Disclaimer of sorts: what I am about to say is a description of my current beliefs. It is what I am holding to be true for me at this moment in time. It doesn’t invalidate what you believe nor does your belief impinge on its validity. Phew! Let’s get on.

The first point to note is that signs and omens are a deeply personal affair. If you think an event is a sign for you, then no one else can gain say it. The reverse of this is true too. If someone else thinks an event is a sign for you and you don’t, then it isn’t a sign. Signs are personal!

The second point leads from the first really. An event doesn’t have to be uniquely pointed at you to represent itself as a sign. For example, for me, the Sun coming out of heavy clouds to shine on me whilst I am engaged in Energy Work is a sign. Now obviously the sun came out for many other people to, but because I gave it meaning, it becomes a sign for me.

Point three, multiple people can claim an event as a sign, taking the sun as an example again, quite often I have claimed this as a sign as have others who have been out energy working with me. Each for our own reasons. Thus it is difficult to see how one can lay claim to a sign.

And number four, a psychological argument is that because we expect a sign, we get one, after all a dog barking or a cat mewing can be taken for a sign. Indeed, one could find signs everywhere if one is loose enough with their interpretation. I agree. There is no place to go with this counter position.

Position five is that a sign is a combination of thought (feelings), time and place. For instance my totem (see coming post) is the crow. Thus a crow appearing at the right time and place and when I am in a certain thought-full mood is a sign. The many other occasions that a crow crosses my path, it is just a crow.

Be careful of the 23-effect this relates to the film the number 23 where the main character becomes obsessed with the notion that everything in his life is connected to the number 23.  Obsession is one of the most debilitating human conditions there is (up coming post).

How do I know if an event is a sign 

 Oh, that is a tough one. Consider the first point from above…

• An omen is only an omen if you think it is an omen

Ask yourself, was that a sign? If the answer is Yes, then it is. Probably a more pertinent question is what does that sign mean? Now then, here we go into realms of understanding signs. Which we’ll look at in the next post.

Kal Malik

Mothers Day Restaurant

Mothers day is still a sad time for me. It was August of 2008 when my dear mum passed away. For most of my life I had daily contact with her. I was fortunate enough to live a few streets away from her home and this provided ample opportunities to visit with her. Sigh, I so miss those days.

For the last 3 years then Mothers day has been an occasion where I celebrate in a rather different way. I’d like to share it with you, so perhaps you can gain some inspiration from it too.

On mothers day, I pick a random, but busy restaurant. I go up to the staff and ask for the manager. I ask him if he knows any customers who are celebrating mothers day. On all four occasions (a different restaurant each year) the manager has been very supportive. Anyway, the manager pointed out a mother and daughter. I told the manager that I wanted to pay for their dinner. Of course the manager always asks why and I tell him. Again on all occasions the manager has walked me up to the table and excused the people on it.

It is a tremendous experience I have to say. I excuse myself at the table and tell them that I would like to pay for the bill for their meal. In response to their questions, I tell them why and always they are appreciative and ask me to join them. I kindly refuse and go about my way. My respect for Mothers day achieved.

If you have lost your dear mother. Perhaps you could have a similar ceremony on this remembrance day.

Thanks for your time,

Kal Malik on Mothers Day

You leave your home and as you step out of the door, a stranger bumps into you. He smiles and excuses himself and as he does you note what a lovely bright blue shirt he is wearing. As you walk further along the street your daughter, along with your niece, rush past throwing a yellow and red ball between them. You shout a “hello” but it is ignored in their play, “children” you laugh. As you continue your walk, two neighbours leave their home, hand in hand and wearing matching green clothes. Aw, young love. Remember those days?

Up the street, your daughter has met with some other friends, they are all wearing gold braids, it must be a fashion thing and they vanish around the corner. You are caught up by a friend of yours, she is wearing the most beautiful purple dress. “Can’t stop” she calls as she passes, “meeting my boyfriend”. You wave to her back as she too slips around the corner.

The sun shines pleasantly on your face as you wonder how the day is unfolding…

You know, pretty much every day, I am a smiling, happy and adventurous fellow.  I see the world through the rose-tinted glasses that I have meticulously picked and designed for myself. Through my glasses I see a world that is filled with miracles. On a daily basis I work with people who are on the road to personal fulfilment, they are exemplars of human potential.

Life, as they say, is rosy.

Then on a day like today, some piece of news filters through those tinted spectacles and reminds me that, occasionally, I should take off the fuzzy feel-goody blinkered eye covers and take a fresh look at my kin.

Miracles. Websters dictionary has this secondary definition of the word…

• “An extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment”

On the first part I agree. A miracle is “an extremely outstanding event”  The second part, “unusual event” I completely disagree. Miracles,sadly, are as everyday as rain.

For me, it is a miracle that we can send a rover to Mars. It is a miracle that we can sow a persons limb back on. It is a miracle that we cure someones vision. Extremely outstanding events you would agree. One might even say unusual. They fit Websters definition. But then on days like this fine, Friday, sunny morning I awake to the news that…

• “13 women and children were killed in an Afghan bomb”

An extremely outstanding event, wouldn’t you say? But unusual? I googled for the news story because I wanted to write a post about it, my search parameters where “Children killed in Afghanistan” and I am saddened to say it took a while to find the relevant news item amongst other similar stories.

Teacher

“Houston, We’ve have a problem!” Where Swigert’s famous words spoken aboard the Apollo 13. He was correct in many ways. Throughout our daily lives we encounter events and circumstances that seem to conspire against us. Often our response to such events is to proclaim , “Really? I’ll teach him.”

These words become a prelude to un-characteristic and ill-advised behaviour. One such episode arose whilst I was being given a lift by a friend. John is a mild-mannered guy most days of the week until someone rattles his cage. Once this is done, he is like a pit-bull with a bone and woe betide anyone that gets in his way.

On this occasion we had been on the motorway (freeway) and due to traffic the road had been narrowed from 3 lanes into one. John had managed to get in fairly early on in the queue and as he approached the point where the lanes merged a car speeded past him and narrowly jumped into place in front of him.

This of course outraged John and he began his tirade…

• “Don’t you just hate it when someone does that?”
• “How dare he do that, he nearly caused an accident!”
• “I’m not letting him get away with that, watch this!”
• “I’ll teach him to do that!”

With these utterances, John indeed began to teach the driver in front a lesson. The principle of these lessons was John remaining stuck to the bumper of the car ahead (up his arse) for the 10 miles of single lane traffic. Having tried on several occasions to deflect John’s ire, I had silently wished us three (me, John and the guy in front) a safe journey.

This is a classic case of the problem that I mentioned above. Let’s look at it in detail.

1. We are acting to a stimulus-response condition rather than a response-able position. In the process giving up our sacred gift of being able to choose our behaviour.
2. What are we teaching? That the driver in front should have not cut in? How do we know that this is what we are teaching? The driver in front may not know he/she has done anything wrong.
3. Is the act proportionate to the fault? We are risking ours (and others) lives to demonstrate that we were right. If something bad had happened, how justified would we feel with our reasoning for what we had done?
4. We are following the rule, do unto others as they do unto you. A truly dangerous concept. Consider if the other driver managed to get behind us? How would this escalate?
5. We are following in the deadly pursuit of the Righteous. Of course we know the rules and the other person broke them, thus we have the right to punish him? Would we give that right to others if we had broken the rule?

As I said, we encounter many such events on a daily basis. Consider how many times you have been upset or annoyed at someone.

• Was the teller in the bank rude to you?
• Did someone jump the queue at the cafe?

Before attempting to teach someone a lesson ask yourself? Am I here to teach this person a lesson? Does the person know what lesson I am teaching them? Am I coming from “Who I am?” This last one is the most important and one I put to my friend John.

“John,” I said, “Are you a caring person?”

“Yes.” he replied.

“Would a caring person do what you are doing?”

“Well, no but look at what he did!”

“So, you are a conditional caring person?”

After some thought, John pulled back from the car in front and waved his hand magnanimously, “I forgive you driver for cutting me up?” he said with a smile.

I sighed with relief and realised that I had just taught John a lesson.

We are all teachers of those who are in our environment. What are you consciously and subconsciously teaching yours?

Kal Malik

Leverage

As a life coach, I am often asked,

• “How can I get leverage on myself?”

Or to put it another way,

• How can I motivate myself?

One of the ways in which you can do this is to use the power of environment. The environment has a powerful influence on our actions. In fact we often we do much more for the environment than we ever do for ourselves. 

Consider the words of the Master of Achievement, Tony Robbins…

People’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group… Your life experience will never far exceed the expectations of your peers, because to stay connected to them there is an unconscious contract that says we’re going to be within this range of each other. Now, on the other hand, if for some reason your friends have a higher expectation for life than you do, just to stay on the team you’ve got to raise your standard. And that’s the beauty of life

The question then is how can one create an environment that supports your ‘new’ goals and desires? One way is to put the message out into the Internet-sphere. Here is an example of how I did this myself. I put this website up in 2010. Let me say before that time I had not met Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay or Marianne Williamson. Neither had I had the opportunity to pitch my book to Hay House.

Putting my goals out there drew (law of attraction?) people to me who were interested in seeing my goals achieved. Their questions and encouragements spurred me on. In essence they gave me leverage on myself. See? Also putting the goals out there and letting the world see them will filter out those who want you to succeed from those who (intentionally or not) don’t want you to.

Of course there is a certain amount of courage that is required in setting such an open view of your goals. But that also provides another point of leverage. Now that every knows, I’d better get on and do something about achieving them. For me, it was very hard to set up the above website and even harder to keep it up there. I will be honest and say that within a couple of weeks, I had taken the site down 3 or 4 times. Such was the fear. In the end Susan Jeffers, “Feel the fear and do it anyway” won out and I kept it up there.

Warrington Guardian

Indeed, I found that this act of courage led me to another one, this time more local. I invited the local press to spur me on my quest. and they kindly obliged and printed a story about my quest in the local news paper. Again I used this as kick-up-the-butt to keep me motivated and focused on achieving my goal.

There are some potential pitfalls to using this method as a leverage point. One of them is, what if people you know see it. Well, they can either support you or get out of the way. And this kind of coming out pre warns your friends and family what you are about and where you are headed. You will quickly note those who are supportive and those who are not.

Personally, I keep in touch with the people who have put their support to my goal quest, they keep me motivated, believing in myself and often give a helpful hand in getting me one step closer. With their help I have met with Louise, Wayne, Marianne and presented my book to Hay House. Who says you can’t create your own supportive environment?

Thanks,

Kal Malik

 PS: If you have a moment, please check out my Kals 3 Goals website and lend your thoughtful support.

7 habits

Our knowledge and understanding stands on the shoulders of giants. One giant whose work I have studied and applied in my life is Stephen Covey, the author of 7 habits for highly effective people. In one of his audio programs (I think it is living the 7 habits) he mentions a curious observation. I like to call it IDD or Intention Deficit Disorder. The essence of the observation is this…

Whilst we judge ourselves based on our intent, we judge others based on their behaviour.

This lack of an attempt (deficit) to see how a situation or event looks from another’s thoughts is one that often leads to many problems, confusions and struggles in relationships. Review your own life for a moment, have you ever fallen foul of IDD?

I invite you to listen to a tale that Stephen relates. It is a powerful story that will change your paradigm with regards to IDD.

Now that you have listened to the story, keep it in mind the next time you are annoyed at a friend, family member or (as in Stephens case) a stranger. Ask yourself this.

Is it their intention to…

Now you know about this phenomenon, it is worth mentioning that the reverse of this maybe true too. A beautiful question to ask yourself is this, “Am I being judged on my behaviour?” There is a fabulous assumption that many of us make, that is that other people are telepathic. A phrase that I have often heard is…”Surely you knew that that wasn’t my intention?”

The resolution of this is simple, tell people what you are thinking. Don’t assume they know.

It is worth our remembering then that IDD works both ways. Just take a moment to see how you can become Intention Rich.

Kal Malik

platinum engagement rings

Being in the know, so to speak with regards to crystals and energy I was asked the other day, “Was there any crystals that would help to get a relationship started on a good path?” It was from a friend of mine who was about to take that monumental plunge of proposing to his partner.

To be honest, I had never thought of this way of introducing crystal energy into ones life. So I took a few hours break to figure out what my answer would be. Now I know that a relationship in and of itself has an energy, which can be energetically aided in several ways. For instance in cases where one wants to mend a relationship that is (or seems) broken.

But I had not considered the effects of crystals on taking of a relationship to the next level. So I pondered this for a while. The idea made sense in many ways. People have an energetic flavour, relationship has an energy, crystals help maintain or change energy. All the ingredients were there. And the precedence is there too, in that we already do give gifts to mark such occasions.

With this theory behind me, it was time to consult my intuition, this time via the tried and tested dowsing rods. The conclusion was that, yes indeed, giving a gift of crystals would help to create a more prosperous relationship. In order of preference it would be…

1. Emerald (30%)
2. Diamond (60%)
3. Ruby

The percentage figures represent how much better they are than the next stone. So Emerald is better than Diamond by 30%.

Not only this, but the metal used was a factor too, again in order of preference it was Platinum and then Gold. With Platinum being 50% better option than Gold.

Well, well, well, that was a surprising bit of knowledge. Time to invest in Platinum then?

Kal Malik

Grand Central Station

Something about films that has annoyed me up until a couple of years ago was the way they would set up a film (actually it happens in books more often). It goes something like this…a tale begins with a micro-story of about something and then we see the major story unfold in the pattern of the micro-story. Have you noticed that, it’s like we are told the outline of the story first and then told the tale. I wonder what that kind of framing is called? In the world of Personal Development, it is actually called that, framing.

My point in mentioning it is that a similar occurence happened to me the other day. I was sat in Grand Central station food court with my girlfriend and we were discussing two topics. The first was the content of the book, The Upside of Irrationality, by Dan Ariely.

I had liked Dan’s earlier predictably Irrational and had purchased his latest offering whilst on the plane journey from the UK to the USA. In his latest book he covers ground that I felt was covered quite well (and better) in other books such as Blink, by that weird hairdo guy, Malcolm Gladwell.

Anyway, the particular topic from both books we were discussing was how people ignore events that they could lend a helping hand to (more about this phenomena in a moment).

The second topic of conversation was the plight of the homeless in New York. Being new to the city I wanted to understand the provisions or lack thereof for homeless people. Indeed I wanted to know why they were homeless at all. Since my girlfriend and I are both life coaches we enjoy discussing and presenting solutions to social and individual issues.

My point of reference was that, in the UK, I had been asked to do a series of talks to homeless people in London. I had done some research around the subject and found that by law the government (actually the council) had to house people if they requested such. In essence, it seemed to me that homelessness was a choice. Of course it is a lot more complicated than that, I confess that I was starting out in my speaking career and was quite naive at the time. Nevertheless I wanted to understand the plight or at least the situation of homelessness in New York.

Our conversation went too and fro until natural urges took over and I looked for the rest room. Let’s call the above the micro-story i.e. the people not helping bit and the homeless situation.

As I walked along the eating booths I saw that in one of them a man had fallen to the floor and was banging his head against the ground. I almost stopped, but then carried on walking. But only for two more steps, then I stopped turned about and went to the guy laying on the floor. I placed one hand under the banging head and the other on top of his arms and chest. I am trained in Reiki and the healing energy flowed right out of both my hands in bucket loads.

As I did this I turned to the assembled crowd of people eating – yes, there were people in the booths opposite who could clearly see the guy on the floor -  and called to them to call some medical person or police officer. Strangely non of them did. My attention went back to the guy and I was focused on getting him in a better state. A few minutes later an assistant from one of the eateries ran over and said the police where on the way. Still a few more minutes later they arrived (all six of them!)  and stood around doing nothing.

By this time the guy (who I guess had been having a seizure or fit) had calmed down enough to be self-empowered and I arose to go about my way. The police called me over to ask me some questions and I obliged…

Do you know this guy? No

Why were you helping him? Because I help people.

Are you a medic? No

What were you doing here? I was eating at the booth next to him and saw that he needed attention when I passed on my way to the rest room.

I was tempted to ask the police person why he hadn’t got on his knees and helped. In honesty in my own country I would have been less docile. I am unfamiliar with the police of America and New York and so held my tongue. In the UK, where I am a believer in the police being Public Servants I would have been giving them a lecture I assure you.

After a several more annoying minutes the officers let me go and I was about to turn my curious attention to the people in the booths opposite when I was reminded of the conversation my girlfriend and I had been having previously.

• Who would help a homeless guy? Although I confess, I couldn’t tell if the guy had a home or not. It’s an ass-u-me ption.
• The SEP field was in effect. Simply stated this is a psychological phenomenon which has been experimentally proved again and again. In such situations as above, people see that there are many other people that can deal with the situation i.e. call for help. Thus they don’t have to do it and so they don’t.

Guy dies whilst people walk by

Given the existence of the SEP field, I often rather sarcastically advise thus. If you are going to get into a situation where you are in need of help, then ensure you do so in a place that is uncrowded with one or two passers-by (preferably one) because if there are more, then you are less likely to be helped.

Don’t believe me? Here is an interesting article from a couple of years ago, set in New York…

He had jumped to the aid of a woman attacked on 144th Street at 88th Road in Jamaica at 5:40 a.m., was stabbed several times in the chest and collapsed as he chased his assailant.

In the wake of the bloodshed, a man came out of a nearby building and chillingly took a cellphone photo of the victim before leaving. And in several instances, pairs of people gawked at Tale-Yax without doing anything.

Later, another man stopped, leaned over and vigorously shook Tale-Yax’s body. After lifting the victim’s head and body to reveal a pool of blood, he also walked off.

Kitty Genovese

In honesty, what would you have done? I nearly walked past the guy myself. Perhaps it was because I had been in a conversation that was about this very same thing that stopped me. I don’t know. I have trained myself to be an interferrer in the lives of others. Perhaps that is what it was.

One thing I hope for is that there isn’t a Tale-Yax on my watch, ever!

Kal Malik

ps… the phenomena described above has been labelled by psychologists as the Kitty Genovese effect after an incident of similar kind had brought some social uproar. Check out the wiki link and also hit the research link on that page to learn more.

Within seconds I was bouncing around in my seat like a, well soft-metal rocker. Music like this has to be pumped up to maximum volume and if possible shared with an audience. As I drove I saw a few youngsters populating a bus stop.

Without thinking I slowed the car down and lowered the window at the same time letting the volume level rise. My euphoria rose significantly when they took the episode to heart and started to rock with Def Leppard. The conclusion of the song was a hearty cheer and exuberant wave.

It made my evening!

Kal Malik